Actions speak louder than words and why everyone needs a dog.

How do you know your dog cares about you? By the way it acts. Humans are no different. They may have recourse to words but the true indicator is how they act towards you.

Relationships change slowly and it is not necessarily anyone's fault, because people change for all sorts of reasons, often without their knowing, or being aware, because of circumstance and experiences, but, the first signs in your relationship with someone else that they are beginning to care less about you, will come from their actions.

It can be hard to recognise the small 'signs' that a relationship is changing and deteriorating, but they will always be there. If there are more and more actions which send a message of 'not really caring' about you, then the relationship will continue to deteriorate.

No matter how many excuses or allowances you make for them or what is going on in their life, or tell yourself it will pass, it will be the actions which indicate the direction the relationship is taking.

The 'death by a thousand cuts' which is so common in relationships is why marriages fail after decades; friendships fall apart after decades and relationships with parents, children or even siblings, suddenly fall in a heap. People stop caring about you for all sorts of reasons and as often as not it may have nothing to do with you, or who you are or what you have done. It just happens.

But as sudden as it may appear, it was not really sudden and when people look back they can often identify when things began to change and the actions did not echo the words nor indicate a relationship of real love and deep caring. But by then it is too late. Years have passed, sometimes decades, where things that should have been said have not been said; where behaviour which should not have been accepted has been accepted; where issues which demanded attention have been swept under the rug, and then they find themselves in the wreckage of a relationship.

That is not to say relationships cannot be rebuilt and when they are they are better, stronger, deeper and more soulful than they have ever been. But many relationships cannot and one can only wonder if awareness had been present earlier and courage found sooner, if more relationships could have been saved before they ended in tears.

Which no doubt is why so many people keep dogs as pets and come to love them in such a deep way, because dogs never fail in showing you they care. Dogs do not change as humans do. They are constant. They will never let you down, find you wanting, change their minds, see another human they love better, judge you, criticise you, condemn you or just fall out of love with you because they are tired, troubled, unwell or sick of this life.

I like the thought that dog backwards is god and since what I call god is absolute love I think we have dogs in our lives to love and support us when others do not. It is not that I am such a dog person although I do like them,  have have loved a few in my time, but I prefer not to have them living inside my house.

Bringing dogs into a pondering of relationship is because I can see the lesson they provide for us. All that unconditional love is a very precious thing given the frailties of human nature and this unpredictable world in which we live.