Sunday, September 11, 2011

Living your own truth means sometimes you will look like a fool.
Living your own truth means doing what you need to do and saying what you need to say without expecting or demanding any particular result. It also means that sometimes you will look like a fool. At least it does for me.

Living my own truth means respecting who I am and striving to respond with dignity, compassion, integrity and common sense to any situation. It's the respecting who I am bit which often leads me to look foolish in the eyes of others but I consider that a small price to pay for holding to my own principles of integrity.

My way of dealing with situations and learning from them and processing them and moving through them is to ponder deeply what has happened and to then seek to communicate, not always, but often, with others who have been involved.

Sometimes this means that to others we may appear weak, vulnerable, needy or even desperate.... all of which can constitute as foolish. But the important thing is to do what one believes is right no matter how it may make us look.

The trick, or art is to have no expectation or demand of any particular result and that is the hard part because at unconscious and subconscious levels of course we always do. But knowing this is enough to safeguard to some degree.

I practised this most with my mother who, through her own woundedness and psychological damage was often, if not mostly, unable to understand the feelings and emotions of others and so, words offered to her dropped into a void. I could offer the words, the thoughts, the gestures but in most cases nothing came back in return.

It made me realise how hard-wired we are to expect results from our words or our actions. It's not surprising, connectedness, for that is what it represents, is the foundation of our nature as human beings and is in fact a physiological requirement for our survival.

When we reach out to someone else with words or actions we are seeking to connect at some level; when they respond to us they are connecting at some level to lesser and greater degrees. When words or actions are met with silence or no response there is no connection and our gesture goes not necessarily unheard or unseen, but because it connects with nothing it goes nowhere.

Perhaps nowhere is a little harsh because in speaking or acting our truth we are connecting with our own Self, our own Soul and we are making manifest who we are, whether that is recognised or acknowledged by others or not. I like to think that at a Soul level even if the other person is unwilling or unable to respond, to connect, to accept the gesture of communication or interaction which is offered, they do 'feel' and 'hear' us.

In essence it is about living with integrity, respect, compassion, love and honour no matter what the outcome. It is about holding to principles and not allowing our actions or words to be dictated or diminished by the actions of others. It is also about recognising that sometimes people are unable to connect in the way that one would wish. For some this is temporary and for others it is permanent.

With some people, asking, expecting, or hoping for them to respond, to connect, is like asking someone with no legs to walk. That is why it is important to have no expectations and no demands because until we make our offering we often do not know where or who the other person is.

In a way it is like an offering to God or the Gods, where a gift is given because it is due; because it is the right thing to do; because it is a way of saying thankyou. When we seek to connect with others we are saying thankyou to them for being in our lives. The mere act of reaching out, however it is done, represents an acknowledgement of our connectedness....however limited or expansive that connectedness may be.

It is all so much easier to write about and talk about than it is to do. But that is the way with so many things we seek to master. Practice may not make perfect but it does help us to master skills.


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