Deprivation breeds appreciation!
  
It  is a sad fact of life that we are more likely to appreciate something when we no longer have it. No doubt this human capacity is a required paradox which pushes us to grow and to learn and is part and parcel of being human, as is the capacity to hold two conflicting beliefs at one and the same time.

It is as if we need some inner turmoil to move us on, to help us grow, to ensure we become other than what we are now. I remember when we lived in Bombay being struck by the way plants would struggle through the narrowest of cracks, bedded in a miniscule amount of soil or sand in concrete walls; it was an indominitable will to live.

Is that what the life force demands of us? Do we need to struggle to honour it? I am sure some struggle more than others, or at least are more aware they are struggling.

And if we see the struggle as something positive, as something we need to do for our own good, does it make it easier? I think it does. Finding meaning in things seems to allow us to tap into that life force and make our way through things which would otherwise damage or destroy.

The feelings rage and fall through time
from distant pain, long days of grief
and barely held rememberings of sorrow.

I sail upon the moments long forgotten,
which rise  again in currents new and strong;
a washing through of hard-edged lies and whispers.

Within the suck and spew of watered telling
of fears, emotions, stories whispered coldly,
I hold and trust and breathe myself anew.