NOT KNOWING WHO I WAS




Not knowing who I was

I spoke falsehood to myself

and to you, and the lies bred well

until there was no way to tell

who I might have been.



It was not done to deceive,

but to survive;

there seemed no other way

to be; the choice was made

by other, unseen me’s.



They come now,

to introduce themselves,

after all this time

to make themselves known;

because they must.



I welcome them, but there is fear

because I had not known

how many stayed within;

because I had not suspected,

how much of me they lived.



They come to me now

because you have grown so old and weak

that I know you wish to leave

and I must prepare to take your place

as oldest Daughter.



I seem surrounded by so many voices,

I understand now, how it was for you;

there was less time and help for you

to find your way and so you fell.



I have had angels by my side

And they have taken your place

And held my hand;

There has been much given.



It could have been the same for you,

or perhaps it could not.

I shall never know in this world

and neither will you.



I ask only that I may look upon your life

With understanding and with love